Testo V-mail 2 (skit)

Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system
At the tone, please record your message

Yes, hi, Mr. Moreno
It's me, Principal Mihoff, about your son, Virgil
Let me tell you about your little ball of sunshine
He got caught smoking weed at recess today, and you wouldn't even fucking believe what I saw
Mr. Moreno! What the fuck do you got going on at home?
At lunch today, our janitor caught your son
I don't even know what the fuck
What the fuck
You don't even know the shit I've been through today, Mr. Moreno
But your son was fisting the Lunch Lady Guadalupee
Yes, and I know his hands aren't that big, but what a fucking sight it was
Imagine me having to call to all the students and explain to them that our lunch lady got fisted by a fifth-grader
Mr. Moreno, pick up your phone and give me a call back
Otherwise, your son is expelled, and he'll probably be in juvie