Testo Floyd the Barber

Bell on door clanks: "come on in"
Floyd observes my hairy chin
Sit down in [the] chair, don't be afraid
Steamed hot towel on my face

I was shaved
I was shaved
I was shaved
Barney ties me to the chair
I can't see, I'm really scared
Floyd breathes hard, I hear the zip
Pee pee pressed against my lips

I was shamed
I was shamed
I was shamed

I sense others in the room
Opie, Aunt Bee, I presume
They take turns and cut me up
I died smothered in Andy's clutch
I was shaved
I was shaved
I was shaved