Testo Neveready

i've been living my life on the hard shoulder; it hurts too much to be afraid. my arms are much too tired from handling all the barbed wire. the lights are on but no-one cares so i pour myself a drink of lemongrass and cider, but it just serves to fan the flames and i am left here solo, playing chords and feeling hollow: "is this everything you dreamed?" you walked out of it all this morning - five past seven with the slamming of doors, both car and homestead. we said never leave this angry but we never listen to our own advice. it's just enough to keep afloat. YOU'RE SAY YOU'RE LEAVING BUT I DON'T BELIEVE YOU ANYMORE. OH, I DO BUT I DON'T CARE. I'M COUNTING DOWN OUR FINAL DAYS AND I'M NOT FALLING TO THE FLOOR. MAYBE I'M MUCH TOO SCARED AND NEVER READY TO LEAVE. it takes too much energy to play this outraged, even when it's all my own mistakes (both real and invented). we wake up, eat, scream, watch tv and fall asleep - it's not enough to keep afloat. solace in the bottle and guitar, placing faith in my ears, eyes, heart (each counts as failing). when arguments are all just nails in the coffin, oxygen can't even keep us afloat. i take it in and turn it all around my headspace; the memories medicate me. i plug my heart in, switch it on; i hope it's listening but it just bleeds away. YOU SAY YOU'RE LEAVING BUT I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ANYMORE. I HOPE THAT YOU STILL CARE. I'M COUNTING DOWN THE DAYS UNTIL YOU'RE HERE, UNTIL YOU'RE BACK HOME LIVING AGAIN. MAYBE I'M MUCH TOO SCARED, BUT I'LL NEVER BE READY TO LEAVE. i never want to leave.