Testo Reason Being

I arrived underdressed and unprepared. It seemed so disrespectful even though they didn't care. And of course they didn't there is real love here. It didn't matter how black my eyes looked or how rough my shirt or face. There was no excuse. Now i'll there be any made. Im sorry that I left the party. It had nothing to do with anything. It was just bad timing. It seems that I've been made to feel cruel and overgrown. Like untrodden paths. Whats to guide me? A couple of stars? Persistent is that sad, cinematic glow inside. A flickering reminder. They used to say, What other child would smile wider? But now I dont even listen to my own replies. Im not interested in anything thats to be said. Memory is shortening. I know it has always been shocking. Oh, mum I . . . I dont like what Im growing up to be. Yeah, theres a reason being. The reason being . . . and Ive been left hanging. You hang precariously from the edge of what youve got. Each finger holding on. Each, a sobering thought. No Im terrified. What have I got to fall back on? What have you got to fall back onto you? She would say, Think of it as a hallways. Doors to the left and right. Dont you wonder what you will find? Maybe Im not looking hard enough. Maybe theres nothing else. Maybe its just a lack of light . . . Dont even bother trying to figure it out. Youre just going to end up damaging something and thats something you could do without. I didnt leave because Id have more fun in front of the TV. I just couldnt very well front up reeking of my anxieties.