Testo The Actor

Fuck you if youve heard this all before. Dont ask me whats wrong? If I dont talk. If I'm quiet then its because I dont want everything to fall down. Seem every time I force air through my throat wrong things sound you know Im trying too hard to be myself but it just isnt me. Its dishonest. Honest. Oh, honestly . . . Don't believe the things I did last night - got caught up in the flood of lights and friends and trends and selfish gripes. Was I listening to anything I was saying? No. Sick of going home and banging my head against the wall. Sick of my own voice (and sick of writing it all down). Sick of putting up with this plane of thought. Finding that it really wasnt what I thought it was at all. You can cry now. You can cry and whinge and sob and complain. And you might try to shut your mouth because it all seems better that way. But in all truth youre going to be a fool in somebodys eyes anyway. Unbelievable. Someone sits down next to me on this tram and starts talking openly about how your thoughts arent really your own (how did she know, how could she have known?) So I listen amused by her sincerity because this concept had been rushing through my head all week. Her facial expression got the better of me. The conversation bordered on theatrics: Look at them she said indicating the occupied seats Theyre unhappy with where they are going on this tragic old street . . . unloading all the negativity that they bring. I know because I used to feel the same when I worked on one of these things. And I know she believed every word she said, but was she peddling someone elses ideas? Look, heres the card of the place that satisfied me (she was) Perhaps she would have made more sense if she has of said plainly to me: Fuck you if you've heard this all before . . .