Testo The astronaut

Interveiwer - Don Hinkley



Part I


DH) The gentleman you`re about to meet is the most important man in any of our lives. He`s the United States officer who has been sent into outer space. I`m referring to the cheif astronaut with the United States Interplantary Expeditionary Force and here he is now. How do you do sir, may we have your name?

JJ) My name, Jose Jimenez

DH) And you`re the cheif astronaut with the United States Interplantary Expeditionary Force?

JJ) I am the cheif astronaut, with the United States, Interplanetary, (long pause).... My name Jose Jimenez

DH) Mr. Jimenez could you tell us a little about your space suit?

JJ) Yes, it`s very uncomfortable

DH) How much, how much did the space suit cost?

JJ) That eh space suit cost 18,000 dollars
DH) 18,000 dollars?

JJ) Yes

DH) That seems rather expensive.

JJ) Well it has two pair of pants

...So that`s only 9,000 dollars a piece...

DH) I`ve been noticing this, Mr. Jimenez. What is this called, a crash helmet?

JJ) Oh I hope not

DH) What are the physical qualities that they look for in an astronaut?

JJ) The physical qualities they look for in the astronaut, you got to have the perfect hearing, you got to have the perfect vision, you got to have the normal blood pressure, you got to have four legs

DH) You have to have four legs?

JJ) Yes, they were going to send a dog but they thought that would be too cruel

DH) Mr. Jimenez you must have some opinions on the race for space.

JJ) All right I will (long pause) I got one

DH) What do you think of Vanguard I and Jupiter II

JJ) That was a pretty close game

...I thought for sure that Vanguard was going to take it...

DH) The west coast yes...

JJ) ...What you were reading the papers about...

DH) ...Yeh I know, Tell me Jose,

JJ) I`ll tell you Jose

DH) Tell me

JJ) Yes I`ll tell you, you just ask me and I tell you...

DH) Alright

DH) Were you a participant at any of the rocket launchings at Cape Canaveral?

JJ) I was a participant, at any of the rocket launchings at Cape Canaveral, I was there,when they opened the door into the nose-cone, and they took that mouse, and they put that mouse inside the nose-cone, then, they closed the door, on that little mouse, (long pause) I don`t want to talk about it

DH) Please Mr. Jimenez please, please let`s ah, try to continue here, ah

DH) I want to ask you: What is the most important thing in rocket travel?

JJ) To me the most important thing in the a rocket travel is the blast-off

DH) The blast-off.

JJ) I always take a blast before I take off, (pause) otherwise I wouldn`t get in that thing

DH) Well after that: What is the proceedure in taking off?

JJ) The proceedure after that in taking off, you got to put on the tetro-hydrollic double dynamo rebostable booster, you got to activate the de-compression activator, and you got to put on the anti-magnetic escowsinga system

DH) And then you`re really up there!

JJ) No that opens the door,(long pause) and lets out that little mouse



Part II



DH) Let`s talk about the rockets themselves

JJ) Well, I, I had trouble once with one of the rockets

DH) At Cape Canaveral?

JJ) No at the Radio City Music Hall,

It was something about seperate mantainence...

DH)(Yes)

JJ) (I don`t know)

DH) Let`s ah change the subject

JJ) Okay if you know how

DH) Let`s talk about the actual rocket trip

JJ) Okay

DH) By the way do you know that it`s costing the government seven billion dollars, to send you on this trip into outer space?

JJ) That`s not my fault, I told them I was willing to go Tourist, and they said it was such a long trip, go first class and that`s what I done...

DH)...Okay do you think the...

JJ)...(no overweight baggage)...

DH) Do you think there will be life on Mars?

JJ) Maybe, if I land on a Saturday night, something might be happening, otherwise I`m going to bring a book

DH) That`s something I ah, wanted to ask you about Mr. Jimenez, of coarse it`s a very long trip into outer space...

JJ) Yes it`s a long trip alright

DH) ...And I just wonder what you`ll do to ah do to entertain yourself during those long, lonely, solitary, hours when you`re all by yourself?

JJ) Well, I plan to cry a lot

DH) I ah, I would imagine that food is a major problem on a trip into outer space

JJ) I would imagine that food is a major problem, on a trip into outer space, and it is you know, they only allow you to have the ten ounces of food

DH) Only ten ounces of food?

JJ) That`s right

DH) Well how will you manage?

JJ) I`ll eat out

DH) After you`ve ah been into outer space Mr. Jimenez, and you return to earth, where will you be landing?

JJ) I am going to be landing in Nevada

DH) In the state of Nevada

JJ) In the state of Nevada

DH) Then you`re convinced that they will get you back to earth?

JJ) I am convinced that they will get me back to earth,

DH) Good

JJ) Just how far into it, (long pause) that`s what I`m not convinced about

DH) Well surely they`ve made some provisions to break your fall?

JJ) To break my fall?

DH) Yes

JJ) Sure Nevada

DH) Well Mr. Jimenez I think you`re certainly to be congratulated for this very very dangerous, undertaking

JJ) Oh don`t say undertaking

DH) Ah, mission, this very dangerous mission,

JJ) That`s a better choice of words

DH) And before you go...

JJ) Don`t even say go

DH) Before that I just wonder if there are a few words that you`d like to say to the people of the United States?

JJ) Yes there are a few words that I`d like to say...

DH) Please go ahead

JJ) ... to the people of the United States

JJ) People of the United States of America, Please don`t let them do this to me.