Testo You & The Cockroach

One day there's just a cool floating rock, right
And on this rock there’s an ocean
And at the bottom of the ocean
There's an amoeba, they're very small
And after millions of years the amoebas
Get bigger and they start turning into fish, right
And they turn into fish, and
After millions of years of that One of these fish he just, "You know fuck it
I’m tired of the ocean, the ocean fucking sucks"

So he gets some feet and he crawls out of the ocean, right
And when he crawls out of the ocean
He sees a female fish, right
And he's like "Oh shit whaddup, what's going on?
Like, how you doing today?"
So then, the fucking female fish is like "Oh pretty good"
So they mate, right
And millions of years of that, and
The babies get bigger and they start standing upright, right
They start standing upright and they get bigger, and
Their brains get bigger, and
They start understanding these concepts, right And one of these concepts is that they're gonna die, and
How scary it is you know, to just not have anything at all
That is really the scariest thing that I think of

So they create this thing called religion, because
That's the only thing that makes you, you know
Not afraid of dying, right
So when this religion happens they create other religions, and
There's competing religions, and with
Those religions come conflict, and
With conflict becomes the need to
Build walls and do shit like that, and
So with that comes the need to build governments
And with these governments, you know
Just more conflict ensues

So one day there's this president, right
He's got orange hair to the side like this
Orange skin, little sausage fingers right, or whatever
Just an overall weird looking dude
So then on the other side of the world
There’s another president, dictator
Whatever you want to call him
He looks weirdly similar when you think about it
Bowl cut, stubby fingers, pretty short, kinda chubby, right
So they just start bickering over and over again, right
And they start fighting and then one day
This presidents like "You know what, I’m
So fucking tired of this guy" right, and he's like
"You know this guy’s just so dumb and stupid, and
I just wanna blow his country up"
And the other guy's like "I'm gonna blow your country up
Well, cuz, we're just bickering like fucking children"
So the one day he’s just like, he just fucking does it, right
He presses the button, right
And he presses the button and then it just goes

Bang, bang, and it blows him up
And everybody dies
And It's really fucked up, it's really fucked up

But what's the only thing that
Survives a nuclear explosion?
Everyone say it...
Cockroaches!
So the only thing that survives is cockroaches, right
So these cockroaches start roaming around
This barren fucking wasteland, and
After millions of years they get bigger, and
They start standing upright, right
And their brains get big enough to
Start understanding these concepts, right
And one of the concepts is that they're gonna die, right
And that's so fucking scary, right
So they create this thing called religion
With more religion comes

Conflict!

And with said conflict comes the need to build walls, and
With the need to build walls come government, right
And with that it just all falls again, right
So then one day there's this cockroach president, right
He's got fucking, orange hair and stubby fingers, right
And there's this other cockroach president
On the other side of the world, and
They start bickering like children, cuz
That's just what seems to happen, and history repeats itself
So one day this presidents like "You know what, I'm
Just gonna blow this guy the fuck up"
But then, they can't die from nukes
Because they're cockroaches
So then he builds a bomb, and
On the end of it is a giant fucking shoe

And it blows him up, a shoe
What's the only thing that kills cockroaches?

Shoes